It is with this mantra that parents everywhere, who might otherwise be rational, thoughtful and, perhaps, even courteous human beings, act like rude idiots. It is because they have to make that illegal u-turn in the middle of the cross-walk in order to deposit their little angels directly in front of the school so that, heaven forbid, “the children” will not have to walk an extra twenty feet on a sunny day.
It is also the reason that once “the children” have been delivered “safely” to the very front of the school, it is acceptable behavior for the parents to then cross three lanes of traffic from a dead stop, with out the use of a turn signal, a rear view mirror or any common sense whatsoever – not to mention any regard for the concept of “right of way” which governs all the world’s traffic flow, except that around schools.
Most people would never execute such a manoeuver in the real world, correctly deeming it illegal, too rude, too stupid or all of the above. But because “the children” were involved it has miraculously become acceptable. The consistency with which these death defying traffic stunts are performed in and around school zones is amazing. Despite the fact that as a society we have deemed these particular areas to be “special.” We have created “School Zones.” Inside which, we have instituted slower speed limits, usually installed more and newer traffic signs and even increased traffic-related fines occurring within such a zone. There are often even speed bumps or other physical barriers that have been added to the street or intersections near schools, all because we, society, have decided that “the children” are in need of more protection.
Yet the lack of safety near a school due to driver mis-behavior, has less to do with endangering the children than it does with endangering everyone else – particularly those of us who do not have children, yet find ourselves near a school. And, ironically, it is the parents of these school-going children who are the ones endangering “the children.”
At a school near my house, they have taken to placing a hand full of brightly colored three-foot high pile-ons in the intersection, because minivans full of children regularly run the stop sign in order to save that extra seven seconds it takes to make a full legal stop and to yield to other drivers. An intersection, which, by the way, has extra large, freshly-painted, bright white lines announcing the crosswalk, which can be seen from outer space. Still, someone thought we needed bright orange pile-ons to make it easier for driver’s to see the intersection. You know, for “the children.” The school constantly has its hands out, knocking on my door weekly, pleading for more money to buy “desperately needed” books and desks, yet they can paint the intersection weekly and buy a virtual forest pile-ons?
By 8:30 a.m. all of the pile-ons are usually laying on their sides and most are completely discolored with tire tracks. Pile-ons which were brand new, just days ago. So not only do I now have to look out for the soccer moms gone mad, but I have to negotiate the graveyard of toppled and wind blown pile-ons to get through street.
This complete lack of citizenry at or near schools is not limited to foolish, hurried or inconsiderate parents. The schools themselves have taken on a provincial attitude that is, again, for “the children.”
It used to be if you wanted to justify any and all anti-social behavior you simply waved the banner of religion; now the banner reads, “the children.”
Again the school near my home has come up with their own solution to the chaos that plays out every morning at the beginning of the school day as minivan after minivan full of children cut one another off and drive up and down the street with out regard to the normal directional flow of traffic looking for that perfect moment to duck into the prized front-door slot. The school simply annexed half the street. They bought themselves some paint and set out to created a “queue line” right there on the public street. A street they do not own. Had I similarly painted for myself a new lane on the street in front of my house, I would be writing this from jail. But because it is for “the children,” nothing is too much to ask, even equal application of the law.
Now, at least in theory, the minivans of children have a clearly marked-off area into which they are to pull their vehicles forming a line, waiting patently behind the minivan ahead of them to drop their precious packets off at the front door. And wait they do. Rolling up inch by inch until they are directly in front of the main doors to the school. All the while spewing clouds of exhaust into the neighborhood. Perhaps, the pudgy little children that are disgorged by minivan after minivan of queued up cars might be carrying a little less girth along with that Spiderman backpack if they had to get out two car lengths before the front door and walk.
In spite of the multitude of civil rights infringements we, the neighbors of the school, must endure, for “the children,” the bad driving continues. And we now have half the road we once had through which two-way traffic, of the non-children baring kind, must pass. Before “the children” there were two full lanes. Now, only one.
In addition to the increased property taxes I get to pay for the benefit of “the children,” I am now being taxed lanes of road. Perhaps, tomorrow they will take my front yard, as some sort of protective buffer, all for “the children.”
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