Yesterday I
saw a tractor-trailer crossing the Bay Bridge in the same direction I was
traveling. I noticed the large truck for
two reasons. It was a tanker truck and I
thought such vehicles where prohibited from crossing the Bridge. I also noticed the warning sign on the side
of the truck which indicated that the materials it was carrying were “flammable”
and “inflammable.” My immediate reaction
was that the materials inside the gigantic stainless steel “thermos” bottle were
either inert, because they were simultaneously flammable and inflammable or,
the more likely and concerning possibility was that the materials were
combustible and possibly explosive.
This of course presented two problems.
First the truck was carrying materials that when involved in an
automobile accident on the bridge had the potential of bringing down the bridge
and all of us hapless commuters into the freezing waters of the Bay three
hundred feet below. Second, and related
to the first, the driver of this truck was at best illiterate and at worst
stupid. While I do not expect that the
driver of an eighteen-wheeler to be fully conversant in chemistry, he should
know whether or not the contents of his payload is prone to explosion. Without such knowledge such a driver might be
slightly less careful than one who had such knowledge - if for no other reason than self-preservation.
In the
driver's defense, inerudites managed to create the ultimate confusion by literally
switching the meaning of “flammable” and
“inflammable.” This change is relatively
recent. Inflammable means
combustible. However, because fools and
the benighted can’t seem to get by the “in” in the word they have slowly and
with deliberateness that only true ignorance can muster, managed to convince
the non-reading, non-thinking world that “flammable” means combustible and
inflammable means non-combustible.
Fortunately, as pointed out by the great master of the English language
E. B. White, the world is not run by illiterates and truck drivers.
In this
particular case, apparently to cover all his basis, the driver of this truck
created even more confusion. By labeling
his cargo as both flammable and inflammable there is now way to measure the
possible danger of its contents. In fact,
no sign would have been more informative.
Here ignorance of the meaning of the word was only one of his
problems. Logic must too have been beyond
his capabilities. One can only hope his
driving skills are even the slightest improvement over his command of the
English Language and that the operation of this 40,000 pound IUD requires
little or no logical reasoning.
